


Think Twice

by im_a_lime



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: (probably), Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy, M/M, Nobody Dies, Plot, Tysh, angst and fluff galore, its a good story i promise, josh is a hero, josh saves tyler, joshler - Freeform, prolly smut., smut?, suicidal tyler, you know i live for the angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 02:25:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8779495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/im_a_lime/pseuds/im_a_lime
Summary: Assisted suicide is made legal for all citizens, and Tyler decides to submit an application. But then he meets Josh Dun, who makes him think twice his choice.





	

Every brain will tell itself lies.

You are not enough. You’re doing it all wrong. You can’t trust anyone. They don’t like you.

Usually, we are able to fight off these lies. If we’re in a good enough place, we can dismiss them easily with a wave of the hand. Maybe somedays we have to wrestle with them a bit, put up a good argument to prove the truth.

But some days. Some wretched days. The lies are too big, or too many in number. We have spent too long battling with them, and it wears us down. Some days, we need someone else to step in, to fight our own brains for us. Not because we are not strong; but exactly because we have been strong, for too long. We have been at war with our own minds, and have run out of energy to cary on. 

* * *

Tyler streched out on his bed, his gaze shifting to the ceiling. He could faintly hear the sounds of the rest of the house, drifting through his open bedroom door. He heard the clanking of dishes as someone- probably his father- unloaded them from the dishwasher and stacked them in the cupboards. Somewhere a TV was on, but it was to faint for him to guess what was on. But if he were a betting man, he’d say his brothers were watching sports. Here and there muffled voices traveled through the walls, nothing important though. Talk of grocery shopping, mortgage payments, and what to bring to the church potluck on sunday. Tyler let his focus drift elsewhere, and these sounds faded to the corners of his mind.

But there was nothing nice to replace it. Tyler fought to find a happy place for his mind to settle, but nothing felt safe. He tried thinking of school, but a panic arose in his chest as millions of assignments flooded his consciousness. It was nearing the end of the semester, and he was falling more and more behind each passing day. He quickly shifted his thoughts to his friends, but was greeted with only awkward exchanges and the painful reminder that he had withdrawn from nearly everybody in his life. People like Mark -who he used to talk to about everything- now felt like strangers. It was a struggle to get through any conversation (assuming he had the energy to even start one).

Tyler continued searching his thoughts for something, anything, that would be easy to think about. He thought of his music, but he knew he really didn’t have the voice for singing. And the few people who had caught a glimpse of his lyrics said they were far too dark for anyone to enjoy. He thought of his body, and how he wasn’t tall enough nor skilled enough to be the basketball star his parent’s were hoping for. He thought of church, and of god, but does god even exist? And if he does, why….

No.

He wasn't going to go there, not today.

Tyler’s mind continued to wander. He thought of Jenna, his girlfriend. He loved Jenna, but even she wasn’t safe to think about. Because maybe if he thought too hard about her, he’d think about how sometimes when they kissed it felt ingenuine, how the “i love you”s felt forced, how she seemed to be miles away when she was in his arms.

Tyler slid his hand roughly up over his own neck, and closing his eyes he began to squeeze. With every thought he squeezed harder, pressing more. Of course this wouldn’t kill him- his body knew better, fought for itself. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t will his own body to strangle itself.

' _If only my mind had the same self-preservation to not destroy itself.'_   He thought, loosening his grip.

“Tyler!” He heard his mother shout from the bottom of the stairs. “We’re leaving soon, hurry up!”

“Be right there.” he sighed, rolling off his bed. The noises of the rest of the house flooded back to his ears as he made his way out of his room and down the stairs. Then entryway was filled with Joseph kids struggling over each other to grab coats and hats. Tyler couldn’t even remember where it was they were supposed to be going today- probably some church event. He simply pulled his hood over his head and squeezed past his siblings.

“Tyler honey, it’s cold out there!” His mom urged, but he couldn’t hear her, he was already out the door.

Having no energy to fight off his brothers and sisters, he simple accepted his fate and climbed into the very back seat of the van. Closing his eyes, he leaned his head back and tried to drown out the sounds of the world. He had become good at just drifting away, tuning out his surroundings. He barely heard his family pile into the van, slamming doors and arguing over who got front seat. He didn't notice his brothers shoving each other, and certainly didn't notice his little sister as she crawled into the seat next to him, snuggling against his arm. 

"Ty?" She whined, bringing him back into focus. 

"Yes Maddie?" he answered, keeping his eyes shut. Madison leaned real close, cupping her hands over Tyler's ear.

"You're my favorite brother." Tyler opened one eye to glance at his sister.

"Is this because I don't fight you for the front seat?" he asked.

"No! ...maybe." She giggled, reaching for her seatbelt. 

"Hey Maddie." Tyler whispered, leaning in. "You're my favorite too." He gave her a smile before closing his eyes again. Without his notice, she pulled a clunky digital camera out of her pocket and snapped a picture. It was her mom's old camera, but she loved to play with it and snap pictures to annoy her brothers. 

* * *

Turns out Tyler had been wrong, it wasn't a church function. It was a fundraising event for the high school's basketball team. It wasn't until his family was walking into the school cafeteria that he noticed his mom carrying a tray of brownies, and his dad was wearing his coaching shirt. Tyler scanned the cafeteria and recognized most of the families from the basketball team, as well as some other popular families from their church community. He simply sighed and shoved his hands into the pocket of his hoody; he was in no mood to socialize. 

"I'll have none of this attitude, Tyler." His father whispered, patting him roughly on the back before addressing the rest of the cafeteria. "Who wants brownies?" He called with a smile. 

"Coach Joseph!" A few boys called, running up to Tyler's dad. Tyler rolled his eyes and searched for Madison, who was already seated and scarfing down a brownie at incredible speed. 

"Hey Maddie," he whispered. "Want a piggyback ride?" Madison's eyes got wide and she nodded enthusiastically. Tyler knelt down and allowed the small girl to climb onto his back. Tyler snuck out of the cafeteria and began jogging laps up and down the hallway, with Maddie giggling and tugging on his shirt. 

"Faster, Tyler! go Faster!" So he did. Tyler kept speeding up until he was sprinting laps in the hall, and he didn't slow down until he was interrupted by the cafeteria door opening. 

"What's going on?" Mr. Joseph demanded, and Tyler stopped in his tracks. 

"Hey Madds, why don't you go find mom?" He crouched down, still trying to catch his breath. 

"But Tylerrrrrr!" She whined, clinging to his back even tighter. 

"Go on," he urged her, as his father crossed his arms. Tyler's heart sunk as he watched Maddie run back to the cafeteria. He knew perhaps his father would be nicer if Maddie had insisted on staying in the hall, but Tyler didn't want to risk finding out.

"So you're just going to goof off, huh?" His dad's voice was stern. "Show no effort to raise money for your team? Show support for your team?"

"I- I was going to come right back in-" Tyler began, but he was cut off by his father's hand striking him hard across the face. 

But before Tyler could react, he heard a small gasp from down the hall. As his eyes automatically jumped to the source, he noticed a girl from his church, Debbie something? Frozen about 10 feet away. As his father turned to match his gaze, she quickly looked away and hurried into the cafeteria. 

"You see what you've done?" His father's voice was low and quiet, which scared Tyler even more than when he yelled. "We'll finish this talk later." Tyler swallowed hard, already trying to find a way out of this. 

"Yes sir." He ducked his head, then silently followed his dad's lead into the cafeteria. 

"My boy!" Mr. Joseph shouted as they entered the room, putting his arm around Tyler, almost showing him off. Tyler simply smiled and took a seat next to his brothers. 

* * *

When Tyler got home, he immediately headed for the stairs to get back to his room. 

"Not so fast!" He heard his father's voice behind him, "We're going to have to family time." Tyler knew better than to argue, despite already having too much "family time" today, so he followed the rest of his family into the living room. As usually, Jay and Zack wrestled over who got the best spot on the couch, and Tyler sunk to the floor and leaned against a wall.

"What should we play tonight?" his mom asked, scanning the entire shelf of family board games. "Scrabble?" 

"Scrabble is good." Tyler said meekly, before anyone else had the chance to object. He wasn't a fan of forced family bonding, but at least scrabble didn't require much talking, and he could simple spend the entire game "focused" on making good words. His father was quiet, and Tyler could only hope that he didn't ask him for "help with something" in the kitchen or garage while the rest of the family was enjoying the game.

"Scrabble it is!" His mother said, a little too cheerfully, and began setting up the board. To avoid his father's gaze, Tyler glanced across the room at the TV. The news was on, but it was muted so he could only read the headlines. His jaw nearly dropped to the floor when he read the banner across the bottom of the screen. 

_"Assisted suicide to be legalized for citizens who meet certain requirements."_


End file.
